Who Cares?

I’ve been trying to come up with a topic for a post today. shooting down some stupid ideas or things I don’t know too much about starting things than backspacing but now I ask myself; Who cares? I hardly get any attention anyways, and I made this about exploring ideas so why do I worry about how it’ll look?
Well I’m done with worrying I said to myself tens of times, I’ll just write and see what comes out. So what will I write that seems simple, I don’t know enough about that, let me look elsewhere… Stop thinking me I’ve written over two hundred of these and at least 20 of them are good. Well I don’t know but they seem good to many heck more than half of these seem good to me but what do I know, only enough to try writing a daily blog with no consistent subject matter. And to try to compose a piece of music. And to try and write short stories. And to try and do some… All I do is try but I’m afraid of putting enough out there to succeed, I can’t bring out the willpower to do stuff badly. But I will dis-inhibit myself and all that. I want to be creative I want to actually create and nobody enjoys everything so I will tell this to myself again and hope I get at least a little bit better; just write put stuff out there, I have no reason to be afraid but since sometimes I am I will recognize it as a motivator and write anyways.

“Benefits” from being afraid

  1. Justified Procrastination – It’s not good enough I need to think it through…
  2. No Risk – I can’t do it yet there is no benefit in trying something like this…
  3. No Need To Change – I like who I am, I don’t want to lose that special spark, I’m improving slowly, aren’t I…
  4. No need to improve – It’s happening slowly, I ‘ve got this I just need some time, I will be able to eventually…
  5. No Error – You can’t fail if you don’t try…
  6. No need to put in the effort – I’m tired it’s late I’ve put in so much time already…
  7. No need to designate time or to organize oneself – I can’t, I’ve tried before, I just don’t trust myself…

So I know my parents will see this; a bit of exposure therapy for myself today.

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