Doorknobs Are For Knobs

Not the first post I tried to write today, but I don’t know in all honesty, when sitting down to write something today I just didn’t want to. And it’s weird I had a fun idea and I looked forward to exploring it but trying to write it out, well it just felt like a chore. So now, I’ll write something, hope it feels natural, and not give a damn about anything else.

“Doorknobs, doorknobs are for knobs. “

“But if I don’t have a doorknob how can I get in do I just use a key?”

“Your just using a weirdly shaped doorknob!”

“Okay okay, so How am I supposed to open doors?”

“I find it often works to if you just hit them hard enough.”

“But what if I’m not strong enough, and…”

“Just find something heavy and swing it, that works for me.”

“And if I want to keep using the door, or to keep out the elements?”

“Than get a stronger door.”

“Then How Do I Get In!?”

“Key card reader, pass-codes, touch-pads, something of that sort?”

“Without Electronics? What if it is somebody else’s door.”

“You mess with the hinges.”

“Let’s ignore the fact that a door that durable probable weighs a ton, what if the hinges are in the inside!?”

“No need to be so angry, you just use a curved piece of metal, like so.”


“Of if the hinges are on the inside you use a metal card like so, this only works if the door isn’t locked but you can easily make a door that requires certain width cards. I once made a door that was compatible only with a certain brand of trading cards.”

“And where do you but such a door? Preferably delivery the day of?”

“Well there’s a place hardly an hours drive away.”

“Good. Now get me a replacement door that only locks adn unloks when cards of this thickness are used.”

“But I can’t drive there?”


“My car’s on the shop.”

“You Can Borrow Mine.”

“But door pulls are almost as bad as knobs.”

So here Is something, very much something. I could probably have made it take up less space and explained the actions taken by the individuals but I was wondering how well I could describe it If I only used the dialog. Hope it was interesting, please respond I feel I can only write so much when I feel as if I’m talking to myself. And if I write something stupid or boring, tell me. Please.
Like this post for example, it may have been stupid, it may have gotten a laugh, but if I ever want to be funnier, I need to know.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.