Lacking Habits

Note, today’s post is about me for me I started writing it to be read but it didn’t end up that way.

This is my 335th post, probably my 330th daily post, I know I’ve missed a few days and posted a few posts late, and I’ve only been posting on the weekend (both before and after Shabbat) for around 100 posts, but even then. My intent was there.

Now, why is this relevant? Part of the purpose of making this a daily blog was to build a habit, but if you actually look at what I’ve been writing, it’s obvious that’s not the case. Always excuses, apologies, and explanations for why the post is what it is. why I didn’t write it on time, how I ran out, how I didn’t post my original idea. Posting these has not become a habit. But how can I make it into a habit? Well, that’s simple I can get up and write a post every day starting at the same time in the morning. So what about my already existing daily habits? What daily habits?

I don’t have any daily habits do I? well, I get up at a variable time every day, I make my bed or not, go to the bathroom, but sometimes I go downstairs first, sometimes pray, eat breakfast, well eventually, read, if I’m in the middle of something, watch a video, sometimes not, eventually pray, at some time… Well I read before getting to bed, but I don’t seem to have any healthy daily habits, I have a few well not unhealthy but meaningless ones, I don’t learn anything by them, well sometimes I do, but it’s not built-in, same thing for accomplishing stuff. I remember having habits once upon a time, but, no, actually, I didn’t. When I was in school, I conformed to the school structure, but I haven’t had many habits I keep to.

Even the games I play are not determined by habit and unless I have a thing I’ve been working on. Even when it’s a game I’ve been in the middle of, I rarely hold for more than a week and almost never for more than two. When I’m reading something long, it can take more time, but I read incredibly quickly anyway. It seems that more often than not, I’ve been following the path of least resistance. My thought are often about big things, but I don’t even walk the dog on time anymore.

I have tried, I say, I’ve made daily schedules weekly goals and all that, but those also go out the window. It seems I am full on my non-habits, which must be habits of themselves, routes of inertia, I wake up not knowing and go to bed searching. Saying that tomorrow I will follow this path. And yet I don’t.

So here, a habit, this blog, I shall write out at starting at 11 ending before 12:

  • Color Of The Day
  • How I shall spend the next half hour productively (or at least learningly)
  • Four Creative Lines – this can mean anything, but by the time I get to writing my actual post these will have fermented into an idea.

If you have read this far thank you for your time, I hope my actions actually change, and I hope you succeed in changing yours.

One comment

  1. I wonder where you get it from. It sounds to me like you want to build in some things than require you to show up, whether it’s a live class on zoom, a regular call with a friend, a writing circle, book club. There are plenty of things like this out there.
    You didn’t have a problem getting to your piano lessons when in-person was still a thing.
    And you do write a blog post every day; you just don’t have a promised time to get it out or get it started.
    I know it might not be directly related, but maybe you should set up some Pomodoros for yourself. There must be an online, real-time daf yomi somewhere.
    Or take Jeff Pulver’s idea, and create a regular zoom call of some crew of your people that you’d like to gather about a particular topic. Check out eventbrite or meetup. I’m sure there are others as well.

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