Weekend Post

Well, I’ll be trying something slightly different with my hell post, I had to remake it into much more purgatory/test, in order to make it interesting as more tan a pain fest, and I don’t want it to be a pure pain fest. So there’s that. And of course, for next week, I’m limiting myself to only making posts out of the 20 something drafts and posts I started and discarded. I really got to get back to those, there is no reasons for me not to.

But for now, I really don’t want to write those so I’ll try and come up with something for today. I feel like yesterday’s post was too little but I don’t see myself writing anything better today, so I’ll just go for at least 5 lines of thought.

I’ve been losing a lot of games recently, games I’m bad at, sometimes at the very last stage. And I’ve been thinking, am I losing on purpose? I think Monday was the day I couldn’t lose, no matter what I played or did, I won, I did it well. Is there a shared cause, was it just a placebo? or do I not want to win now? What am I trying to prove to myself? Well, I know what I need to work on but I don’t feel the best sharing it here so I’ll leave this as it is.

A line of thought is a weird way of putting things. But maybe I’m just assuming line means a straight line, but that is the common understanding, maybe the phrase is slightly older and the understanding of the word line changed? Maybe it’s related to the geometry being taught in schools. I don’t know I need to do more research.

Here nothing, see nothing, I know what I choose not to see but I also chose not to think about it. I’ll stop now.

I’ll try to stop but I could be doing something, I should be doing something. I’m a bad person if I began acting now I could probably save the lives of at least one person by the end of the year. Or I could imperceptibly improve the lives of hundreds of them. What am I doing? What is this? what is the thing I am asking questions about? ah, problem successfully avoided, well not really but the more I talk about not it the longer it’s not being talked about. But you probably aren’t reading this to feel guilty so I have a good excuse to stop.

I love my brothers and am easily embarrassed when I shouldn’t be. I feel okay talking about things, and they aren’t weird or inappropriate especially when there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But I don’t know what to be embarrassed about until I bring it up in conversation, so I bring it up and when I realize there’s nothing wrong I talk about it to my heart’s content.

I think wrong, I think wrong a lot. A whole lot of my thoughts are just wrong, but that’s that since I will probably be wrong in my lines of thought, and I probably have been already I need to think this up. Or at least write it out, but then I’m thinking it first… I’ll stop now I want something more interesting, my thoughts aren’t that interesting to me. I see them all the time.

Well this isn’t going anywhere, so see you tomorrow and all the best.

One comment

  1. How can you, the generator of ideas, not have at least a dozen reasons not to? Maybe you’re just not the same person anymore. Maybe the idea was played out. Maybe what you started isn’t that interesting to you now.
    And unless you are thinking about rape, pillage, murder, or seriously messing with another person’s well-being, and even sometimes then, you’re not thinking wrong.
    Your conclusions might be in error. The path to them might be flawed. But those are just cues to sharpen your thought process, and you wouldn’t have those cues if you didn’t think. And maybe thinking wrong is just part of the process to thinking right, whatever those things mean.
    And I suggest that maybe you stop just thinking, and actually take on a doing, that is if what you are doing already is not enough. I’m touched by it; so that’s one life you are saving every day.
    But if you want more, come up with a project to extend your reach, and a program for the doing, and maybe this all will start to take care of itself.

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